She pitches and… scores?

light, tunnel?

I have been working on my novel pitch. I expect to use the pitch for my back cover material and as the ‘product description’ for online vendors. This is important, especially at the outset and before there are many reviews, because the cover and the pitch are the two pieces of information that will be available to help readers decide if they want to read STOLEN CLIMATES. You all have been helpful in giving me suggestions, but I would like to acknowledge Meg, Paul and Nick for their specific contributions. I think I have something that incorporates all of the good bits from the 5-sentence pitches and cuts out the wordiness of my initial attempt. Please drop me a comment and let me know what you think! Without further ado or any more of my agonizing, here is the revised pitch:

Genny thought her hallucinations were from lack of sleep. Then her daughter started hearing the trees talking, too. Now they are being hunted by a cult who wants to use them in a deadly ritual to ensure the continuation of ancient ways. Their only hope of escape is a single ax and an acquaintance with his own set of debilitating issues. As Summer Solstice nears, carnivorous vines grow out of control, the sacred orchard dies of blight, and it isn’t safe after dark.

Mother Nature isn’t just a metaphor.

If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to my newsletter!  

I adore and reply to comments!

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “She pitches and… scores?

  1. Ooo! I like it! It combines all the best parts of the pitches you put up before and gets rid of any and all wordiness which makes it sound more immediate and draws you in faster. It’s great.

    Though (nitpickery ahead, you’ve been warned) one of the sentences is a little strange: ‘Their only hope of escape is a single ax and an acquaintance with his own set of debilitating issues.’

    I understand what you’re getting at (that they have an ax and that there’s someone else with issues there as well) but on first read it sound like they need an acquaintance (as in, a little knowledge of) with the ax’s set of debilitating issues.

    And while the idea of Genny having to discover and deal with a sentient ax’s issues sounds like it’d be pure GOLD, I don’t think that’s quite what you were going for.

    Like

    • Meg, hi! Thanks for taking time away from NaNo to check in! It’s so funny you point out the ‘ax’ sentence. At breakfast, my husband said, “I read your pitch. The sentence with the ax is a little strange; it seems like the ax has issues, even though I know what you really mean.” You guys are right. The sentence is strange. This –>”And while the idea of Genny having to discover and deal with a sentient ax’s issues sounds like it’d be pure GOLD…” –> has cracked me up a couple of times today! Just considering that sort of surreal story line is amusing! Thanks for being honest AND hilarious!

      Like

Thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s