My Honest Author Bio

As I was traipsing through the wilds of the internet, I came across a post about the idea that most author bios are polished to a reflective, not necessarily realistic sheen. It seemed like a fun exercise to write my own “honest author bio.” Yes, I am five years late to this party, but this was a lot of fun to write!

And Now, the Bio

Aniko Carmean is a writer masquerading as a software tester. She is convincing in this role, having achieved sixteen years tenure and the level of “Senior Engineer.” There are days when she suspects someone might be onto her, and she distracts her interlocutor by cracking puns like the one she told on the eve of a co-worker’s visit to not one, but two bank clients, when she said, “We’ll get more bank for our buck!” Aniko is a water sign, and has the tenacity to prove it. She is married to an air sign, and between the two of them, neither has their feet firmly on the ground. This keeps things interesting. When Aniko is not acting in her capacity as diplomat in the Software Development Life Cycle, she can be found navigating Austin’s public transportation system, trekking through suburbia with three dogs, or being friendly on Twitter. Aniko writes surreal stories. They are strange and lovely chimeras who wish you would take them home with you. Care and feeding of the stories is easy, and after several professional edits, they are guaranteed housebroken. No messes! You’ll have less trouble reading them than Aniko had writing them, and after some of the dreck you’ve read recently, won’t that be a nice break? The next fact is not related, but is simply jammed here because this is an honest bio, and the wildflower garden of Aniko’s thoughts is disorderly. She once spent several days confused by the apparent apocalyptic disappearance of all the other thirty-seven year old women, only to discover all the women her age were trying (and succeeding) at looking nineteen. A stubborn proponent of caring more about the quality of her soul than her appearance, Aniko decided to stop dying her hair. You can spot her by what her hairdresser politely calls “sparklies,” but which are really the silver hairs Aniko has earned through the pain, grief, and disillusionment that come in any well-rounded life. In spite of this, Aniko smiles all the time. She is quick to laugh, often at her own jokes. If you buy her books, she will laugh at your jokes too!

As ever,
-aniko

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9 thoughts on “My Honest Author Bio

  1. Aniko, I love your honest bio, and actually think it’s infinitely more interesting and endearing than the usual polished stuff. In fact, I might borrow this idea if that’s okay with you. Perhaps we need more honest author bios!

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  2. Sparklies! I love that!

    I stopped dying my hair two years ago and it was one of the happiest decisions I’ve made. I call my hair “arctic blonde” but I may have to start using “sparklies” instead.

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    • I thought sparklies was a lovely and accurate description. 🙂 Being a woman for some reason seems to mean always being a young woman. I like who I’ve become with age, and I don’t have a problem with people realizing I’m not a college coed. Not dying is freeing. It’s nice to finally reach a stage of life where I feel comfortable being who I am, regardless of the image I’m told I’m “supposed” to project.

      If you ever post a version of this exercise, let me know! It was a lot of fun. I think it would be fun to read yours, too!

      -aniko

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  3. Love your honest bio! It gives a great glimpse into who you are and makes me want to be friends with you. 🙂

    Having just turned 38, I feel I can relate to your comments about growing older. I like who I’ve become at this age and look forward to who I’m becoming. That being said, I admit that I do dye my hair. In fact, after I quit my job as a stockbroker, I dyed it PURPLE!! I always wanted to but lacked the courage when I was in high school. Now that I’m working for myself, it’s liberating that no one can tell me I can’t.

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    • Stockbroker. Stockbroker! Stockbroker turned fiction writer? This fascinates me. Also: you must be quite smart, which I’d already intuited from your thoughtful posts over at http://satinrussell.com.

      Your hair looks great in purple. I think the best thing about getting older is realizing that a) it doesn’t really matter what other people think; b) no one is really spending that much time thinking about us anyways; and c) we are at a point where we no longer have to kowtow to the arbitrary rules imposed early in our careers. Congratulations on making the leap to self-employment.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      -aniko

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Honesty is the Best Policy | Mari Biella

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